I'm my dream I die and come back as a brick... yes a brick.
I am lodged in a wall built sometime before.
My exposed side faces the window of the women I loved who turned me away years before.
Day after day I stare into her room... into her life.
I watch her come and go.
I see her with different men.
I cannot call out... I cannot move.
I am embedded in cement.
I can do nothing but silently and emotionally watch.
I see her alone... sometimes she cries and holds her face in her hands.
I am forced to watch endlessly.
Sometimes she stares out the window and looks right out me.
It is excruciating to look directly into her eyes and know that she does not see me... she only sees the wall.
She leaves for weeks at a time and I wonder where she is, who she's with...
I wait.
All the other bricks are just bricks... they do not speak, they don't do anything at all.
It is only my discontent that makes me believe that I'm alive at all.
I have no arms or legs... I feel neither hot or cold.
I do not sleep... I do not hunger or thirst.
My face is a small rectangle of smooth red clay...
anonymous
Sometimes I think I'm a man merely dreaming of being a brick.
But the days past I can see enough to know that I'm indeed a brick in a large wall.
One day she moves away.
Days turn into months and soon the first year of her absence arrives.
In this time I've done nothing but make up every possibility of her return to my view a potential reality.
More years pass... my mind has begun to drift.
I watch squirrels and birds... I see a few traffic accidents, a robbery.
Leaves explode into color and fall off the branches.
But at night, when everything is quiet... I think of her.
She is somewhere
I am here...
always here.
Not waiting...
just here.
Please do not let me live my life untouched and tormented.
Please help me escape the tragedy of myself.
I envision my face contorted and agonized, wild eyed... my mouth frozen mid scream.
Never able to say the truth.
Forever trapped, suspended inside of solid black eternity.
Embedded... silent.
Identical to the hundreds of others stacked symmetrically around me.